Josh, Matt, and Kenny were best pals. Every day, the third-graders walked past the old McClary house going home from school. Today, Kenny picked up a stick and ran it across the wrought iron fence.
“Yoohoo!” Josh yelled at the so-called ghosts in the house. Matt quickly said, “Knock it off, Josh. Don’t disrespect.”
“Crybaby,” Josh expressed his scorn. “Dead people can’t hurt you.”
Every day unliving eyes peered out the upstairs window at the three boys. Kevin McClary died in the last great flu pandemic. All he wanted to do was go out and play with the other children.
Written in response to Rochelle Wisoff-Fields’ Friday Fictioneers challenge. The idea is to use the photo at the top as a prompt to write a piece of flash fiction no more than 100 words long. I barely made it at 100 even.
The second I saw the photo, it screamed “ghost story” at me. Poor Kevin is no longer among the living, and trapped in that house, he can’t even go out and play.
To read other stories based on the prompt, go to InLinkz.com.
Ai, that’s really sad. A good, complete story in very few words. Nice.
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Thanks. Yes it is sad.
I created a longer version of the tale in my imagination. It’s Halloween and Josh convinces his mates to jump the fence and break into the house to see if it’s really haunted.
Inside, they find Kevin and decide to play with him.
There are two possible outcomes:
The first is that Kevin gives them the key to the front gate and front door on the promise that the boys will come every day after school to play for an hour or so. They agree and it’s a nice, heartwarming ending.
The second is that Kevin is dangerously insane and keeps the three boys in the haunted house to “play” with him forever. A creepy and horrible ending.
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You probably know which one I would choose, James, but their both good:)
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Yes. Yes, I do.
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Could be the start of comething longer I reckon. Sadly written – in a good way! Nicely done
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Actually, I just wrote another comment outlining two possible longer stories.
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Like the sound of the dead playing with the living. Happily ever after, eh?
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Well, “ever after” has an interesting meaning here. The boys would eventually grow up and stop going over to play, but eventually they’d age and die, then yes, the boys would be playing “happily ever after”.
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Reunited after death – a kind of happy ever after, if a little creepy 🙂
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When I was a kid, I used to watch a TV show called “The Ghost and Mrs. Muir” which was based on a film by the same name. In the mid 20th century, a widow and her young daughter move into an old house in the Northeast that used to belong to a 19th century sea captain. The captain’s ghost haunts the house and situation comedy type humor ensues.
In the film, the ghost falls in love with Mrs. Muir, but after all, she’s alive and he’d dead. At the end of the film, Mrs. Muir is elderly and passes away. The last scene is of the two ghosts going off together, so yes, reunited after death is a thing.
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I remember that film – Rex Harrison was the salty sea dog! A great premise to be sure.
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I haven’t seen it since I was a kid, but the final scene left a lasting impression.
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The ultimate romance, really
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Dear James,
A ghost story with a tender twist at the end. I like this.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks, Rochelle.
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Made me feel sympathy for the ghost, nice one.
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He was a child when he died. He only has a child’s interpretation of who he is and what’s happened to him, Iain.
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I shall pretend I did not read the potential two endings and say I enjoyed the feeling of longing the poor ghost of Kevin expressed…
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That’s fine Dale, since the only official “ending” is the one in this story.
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😉
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Interesting when children have varying approaches to a fairly taboo subject. Well done.
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Children are just as variable as adults. Josh is the group’s leader and daredevil, Matt is more introspective, and Kenny is very casual and likes to have fun.
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My Dad’s oldest brother died in a great flu pandemic (bootcamp during WW I). They say he cried before leaving home, telling his mother and new bride he’d never see them again. Who knows where his spirit wanders about and what it dreams of. Great writing here, James.
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Thanks, Russell.
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I like the creepy, horrible ending of your longer version! Great story.
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I’m tempted to write both stories just because each one appeals to different people.
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I like both your possible story trajectories, especially, more so, the latter. Great creepy writing this, James.
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Thanks for the complement, Neel.
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It was good to hear how you might have developed the story, give a higher word count.
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Given a higher word count and some time to think about it.
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Nicely done, you made me feel deep sympathy for Kevin’s trapped ghost.
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Thank you. He’s not a bad boy. It’s not his fault he has to forever haunt the place.
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A sense of sadness and longing seep from your final few words. Delightful.
Click to read my story
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Thanks, Keith.
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Oh! That’s sad. Nice little snapshot!
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Thanks.
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Sad … well written James
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Thank you.
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Such sadness in a ghost story like this..
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Awww..poor Kevin, how sad.
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Yes, it is sad. Being dead isn’t always fun and games. However, I wrote a different bit of flash fiction where things turned out much better.
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Sad, poignant and very complete, well done
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Thank you, Michael.
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I like the ‘unliving eyes’ and the way you turn the perspective to that of the boy who died, something that the boys in the present will probably never be aware of.
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Thank you for your kind words, Rebecca.
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‘Unliving eyes’ is a beautiful term for those in another world.
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Thank you, Reena.
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