Esther had some cheese and matzah pizza and another sip of wine. Fortunately the owner of “Stanley’s Pizza” knew how to accommodate her needs during the Passover season.
At work, time was very fluid, which was why she appreciated the dependable rhythms of a Jewish life. Looking at her watch on the counter, she chuckled. She could only wear it off-duty.
Being a Cross-Time Detective was draining. Thank Hashem she’d captured the dimensional jumper before he could illegally copy the plans for, what..oh, “velcro” and bring them back to our reality.
Now she could enjoy her pizza and peace.
Written for the Friday Fictioneers photo challenge hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. The idea is to use the photo above to write a piece of flash fiction no more than 100 words long. Mine is exactly 100 words.
Since this is the week of Unleavened Bread, and since my wife is visiting our daughter in California and I’ve got the place more or less to myself, I thought I’d write this small bit of “Jewish themed” science fiction. Besides, the pizza really does look like it’s made of matzah.
To read other stories based on the prompt, visit InLinkz.com.
Nice story, though the pizza in that photo doesn’t really look like it’s made with matzah, not even a nice circular “shmurah” matzah. But I very much appreciated the thought, particularly as I had just finished eating a matzah pizza, that I had made on ordinary square matzah, before I found your email notification about the above essay in my inbox.
However, your first sentence seems to have lost an “of”, so that “Esther had a piece [of] cheese-and-matzah pizza …”
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Oh, I forgot to mention: If that missing “of” would have exceeded you 100-word count, I noted two other places in the piece where you could have omitted an “a” or a “the” without consequence.
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Oops! “your 100-word count” How *did* I miss that typo?
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PL, I’ll have to make you my senior editor. Thanks. Oh, and I hope you enjoyed your pizza.
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I did enjoy it, thanks. A couple of years ago, I picked up a professional certification at the David Yellin
Institute here in Jerusalem, for English-language editing. I had some notion of earning a bit of additional pocket money as a professional editor, since I had retired from my engineering career. But I haven’t been sufficiently motivated to hang out my shingle and to pursue clients. Instead, on occasion, I just annoy writers like you (to keep in practice, you understand [:)]). Nonetheless, it did tidy up my own writing skills a bit.
Though I mentioned below that I liked your improved first sentence, I forgot to mention that I do miss the word “piece” there that had tied the story together by means of your use of the homophone “peace” in its last sentence.
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In a slightly longer and more refined story, I’m sure the word “piece” could be returned, but I can only do so much with a 100 word limit. 😉
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Since you clarified above that your protagonist’s job was really not about crossing time boundaries, but rather multiverse reality boundaries, I recommend changing her job description. However, I’d like to play editor once again, by showing you two variations of your story, each 100 words, and both including the homophones “piece” and “peace” to tie together the beginning and the ending of the story. The first one is virtually identical to the initial version of your story before you tweaked it. The second may be less to your liking, because of the rephrasing I’ve done to clarify the protagonist’s job — but I’ll leave it to you to tell me how they strike you.
—————–
Esther had a piece of cheese and matzah pizza and another sip of wine. Fortunately the owner of “Stanley’s Pizza” knew how to accommodate her needs during the Passover season.
At work, time was very fluid, which was why she appreciated the dependable rhythms of Jewish life. Looking at her watch on the counter, she chuckled. She could only wear it off-duty.
Being a Cross-Time Detective was draining. Thank Hashem she’d captured the dimensional jumper before he could illegally copy the plans for, what..oh, “velcro” and bring them back to our reality.
Now she could enjoy her pizza and peace.
——————
Esther sipped her wine and enjoyed a piece of cheese-and-matzah pizza. At least “Stanley’s Pizza” could provide this highlight of her Passover season.
At work, time was very fluid, which was why she appreciated the dependable rhythms of Jewish life. Her watch stared at her from the desk; it could only be worn off-duty.
The Multiverse Monitoring Agency had awarded her their highest commendation for capturing a reality jumper before he could disrupt technology in her part of the ‘verse with something called “velcro”.
She was worn out, but at least now she could enjoy her peace and her pizza.
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Dear James,
Matzo is timeless. I had leftover charoset on Matzo for breakfast. Good stuff. Interesting take on the prompt.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks, Rochelle. I wanted to write something different (I always want to write something different).
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Okay, PL. I changed the wording slightly, so I’m at 99 words.
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I like it! I think it flows better.
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Thanks.
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Time travel, it’s such a worry, glad to know that we will have Crosstime Detectives
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Actually more like time and quantum reality travel. She’s policing alternate realities to keep cross jumpers from going to another dimension, copying some strange tech, and bringing it back home so they can “get rich quick.” Her latest arrest involved a person stealing the plans for Velcro, which obviously, she doesn’t have on her world.
I have to say, I took the idea from a series of short stories written by Larry Niven in the 1970s.
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It’s nice to know that even time detectives keep Passover…makes me feel right at home! But I do envy you all your nice regular matzah, being on a grainless diet.
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Cross-Time Detective…wow! Sounds exhausting indeed, but highly intriguing….
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The exhausting part is probably keeping all of different realities straight in your head while tracking down a fugitive.
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I like the idea of cross-time detectives – interesting story.
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Thanks, Clare.
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Ingenious .. hope we get to read some cross detection stories,
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Actually, to do that would be ripping off science fiction writer Larry Niven. In the 1970s, he wrote a number of such tales including All the Myriad Ways and For a Foggy Night.
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Thank you. I shall try to find some of his works and read them.
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What a fun take on the prompt. A little Sci-fi mixed with reality. Nicely done.
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Reminds me of a line William Shatner (as Kirk) delivered in the film “Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home:”
“I come from Iowa, I only work in Outer Space.”
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I liked your take – well-planned for the season, to boot!
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Well done. Loved the timely tie in and the questioning of Velcro, although whoever invented it must be rich.
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Swiss engineer and amateur mountaineer George de Mestral invented velcro. His story is at Live Science.
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Nice. I’m always up for a little scifi. The “velcro” was a nice touch. I’m glad so many are giving a nod to the season this week.
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Thanks, April.
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An interesting piece, James. And the comments were good reading too.
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Thanks, Russell. We aim to please.
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Cross-time detective, that’s a great concept but I’d be inclined to let Velcro pass through the ages, it can’t do any harm can it?
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I’m milking a concept I read about in a series of short stories by Larry Niven. In one case, a cross-dimensional jumper went to a different quantum reality and copied the design for a paper clip (this was back in the 1970s). Simple but revolutionary. I just updated things slightly.
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Loved the sci-fi aspect. Great story!
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Thanks. It’s amazing what you can turn into a scifi story if you try.
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Ugh, the sound of Velcro. It’s on my list of hates D: Very clever of you James, to manage to combine the Passover and sci-fi in one story!
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Thank you, Sarah.
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I love how you think outside the (pizza) box.
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I try. 😉
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Love the idea of a Cross-Time Detective!
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Well, cross-dimensional.
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Cross time policing, how intriguing! Velcro probably had its day, but I hate it. Not very durable, and sticks to more than just the garment it’s one. Really enjoyed this story 🙂
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An interesting take on the FF prompt! Nice!
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Hah, nice twist! Jumping the gun on the velcro patent would certainly make Our Villain quite wealthy.
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Yes, that was his point.
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