© J Hardy Carroll
The ride slowed down and Jessie thought it was over. The man running it yelled, “Free ride” and it started again. He was dressed funny like the girl next to her.
“I’m Harriet. Isn’t this fun?” It was fun and scary. The sky was a different color and the children on the ride weren’t the same.
“Where are we?”
“Heaven, silly.”
“Am I dead?”
“We are but you can get off when it stops again.”
“Why am I here, Harriet?”
“So you know being loved by a Mommy and Daddy is better than anything else, even being in Heaven.”
I wrote this for the Rochelle Wisoff-Fields writing challenge for 19 January 2018. The idea is to use the image above as the inspiration for crafting a piece of flash fiction no more than 100 words long. My word count is 100.
I pondered a number of different ideas for this one, from the sappy sentimental to murderous and dark. I decided to settle on “creepy carnival” but give it a happy ending. I thought about having Jessie actually die, but then figured I’d give her a break and a moral. Even being in paradise, I imagine the souls of all the children who died way before their time would still miss the Moms and Dads who loved them.
To read other stories based on the prompt, go to InLinkz.com.
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Glad for the happy ending – I thought she was a goner there.
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So did I, Iain. Fortunately she escaped with her limbs and her life intact. 😀
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Dear James,
This has a very Twilight Zone feel to it. Good one. One nitpick ” He was dressed funny clothes like…” I think you’re missing a “was.”
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Actually, I had an episode of the Twilight Zone in mind Rochelle, though I didn’t emulate it. I was going more for the “feel” than anything else. Glad I succeeded.
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Good story. Schrödinger’s ride!
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I hadn’t thought of it that way but thanks.
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Heaven can wait! Nice one James.
Click to read my FriFic!
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Yes, the title of a movie and many remakes. Thanks, Keith.
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It’s a lovely thought. I wish it were more widely true. Quite a departure from your usual style, James, and a very productive one.
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Thanks. Occasionally I have hopeful moments, Penny.
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Now that was an intriguing take on the photo prompt. I liked it very much!
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
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Thank you, Susan.
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This is heartbreaking stuff. To think all the children in heaven are still sad makes me sad. Great story.
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Well, this is fiction. I can’t imagine the reality of it.
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Very nicely done. Such a relief at the end there.
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Thanks, Sandra. For me, too.
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I’m grateful they could get back again… love it.
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She could get back again. The rest of them were already dead.
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I thought she had died. Thankfully she gets a chance to appreciated life
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For a few minutes, I was going to swing the story that way, but then I hate hurting kids, so I thought I’d give her another chance.
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We all need a second chance, James. Some of us a lot more than that.
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We all need a lot more than two chances Russell, at least in my humble opinion.
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Thank God she still has a chance to get off that ride.
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Agreed, Alice. Thanks.
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Creepy worked just fine.
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P.S. As did the title.
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You had me worried for a minute there. Nice moral at the end.
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Everybody says that, Linda. It was a tense moment. Thanks.
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i’m glad she’s got another chance in life. hopefully, she’d be able to put it to good use.
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I hope so too. Thanks.
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Very glad she was just given a glimpse…
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A child’s (and my) interpretation, Dale.
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And why not? 😊
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Thanks for giving Jessie a break 🙂
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You’re welcome.
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Sweet! I was worried for a moment the first ride had gone horribly wrong.
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Nope. Not this time. Thanks.
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Good moral – glad she had the choice to get off at the next stop.
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Me too. Of course she was the only one who could. Thanks, Irene.
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That made me dizzy. For a minute there, I was afraid Jessie might be going in circles for eternity (not my heaven either).
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Definitely has that Twilight Zone appeal. Glad she can get off this ride!
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Thanks. Me too.
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I thought she’d died – so glad she didn’t.
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Agreed, Elizabeth. Thanks.
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Amen, James, amen, indeed! having issues makeing words today…back later, maybe
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Ok. Hope you can make words better later. 😉
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Still seemed pretty creepy to me, but I’m relieved she can get off at the next stop. Still, something like this is bound to traumatize her, hanging out with dead kids. Hm, is the lesson that there’s no such thing as a free ride? 🙂
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Well, there should be for children Joy, but on the other hand, sometimes bad things happen to good children.
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Fair enough; I’d like to live in a world where children got a free ride.
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Me too.
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Beautiful story, James. Realising that the heaven is really on earth would probably add a lot more cautiousness and goodness to the thoughtless days while we are alive.
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Indeed it would, Moon. Thanks.
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This is one of those stories you have to read twice, makes you think.
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I’m glad it did, Ted. Thanks.
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James, I would like to think every child could have that experience. Just a thought.
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I’m sure most children wouldn’t want the experience, Dan. For that matter, how many adults would wish to encounter the dead?
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My mistake,,, I thought the child returned To appreciate mom and dad even more. My bad.
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Hopefully she will, but it would still be a harrowing experience.
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Okay, so my words are back… let me try this again. This is an AWESOME write, James! I really did enjoy it yesterday, and even more so today! Heaven is SOOO BEAUTIFUL that words defy its description. Can’t wait to get back there! ❤ 🙂
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In the words of the prophet, Heaven can wait. I have stuff to do here first. Thanks, Jelli.
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Heaven can wait, sure, but one can always hope that that wait won’t be long. Not suicidal, just factual.
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In my mind I had already made up another story of kidnapping or a psycho etc..
Glad for the last happy line
Click Here to see what Mrs. Dash Says
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You have a lot of company in that department. Thanks.
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I loved the happy ending, James. I don’t know if you’ve ever seen or heard the story “The Littlest Angel”. He’s a small child who died and went to heaven and asked for a box of his things that was still on earth. When he finally gets it it’s full of ordinary things a little boy would love like his dog’s collar for instance. When I was little it was on the radio every Christmas and was such a tug on the heart a lot of people probably cried. Good writing. 🙂 — Suzanne
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Thanks, Suzanne. I don’t think I could stand listening to something so sad.
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Lovely story.
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Thank you, Dawn.
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