Tag Archives: humor

Reggie

coffee cup goo

© artycaptures.wordpress.com

“What the hell is it, Neil?”

“I don’t know, Doctor. It was in my coffee cup when I opened the lab this morning.”

Louise Manners wrinkled her nose. “I told you never leave your dishes in the lab over the weekend. We work with biological…”

“Doctor, how could left over coffee turn into…into that?”

“We’d better not expose ourselves. Get the Hazmat gear. Let’s get it into a containment box.”

“Oh, there you are, you naughty fellow.”

Louise and Neil whirled at the sudden intrusion. Archie, the night janitor, was standing at the doorway. Ignoring them, he headed for Neil’s cup.

“That’s not your coffee.” He became aware of the two biologists staring at him.

“My pet fungus Reggie. I bring him to work with me for the company.”

Archie turned back to the cup. “You come with me now.” Walking out of the lab with the cup, Archie called over his shoulder. “I’ll bring this back tonight.”

Neil turned to Louise. “Pet fungus?”

“Neil, what if we could market it? Let’s get to work.”

I wrote this for the FFfAW Challenge for the Week of August 15, 2017 hosted by Priceless Joy. The idea is to use the image above as a prompt to write a piece of flash fiction between 100 and 175 words long with 150 being the ideal. My word count is 175.

To me, the image seemed hideous and humorous at the same time. I was in the midst of writing but having trouble creating the twist at the end until I considered Simon Pegg’s rather funny take on the character of “Scotty” in the “Star Trek” reboot movies (the movies themselves aren’t that great, but I like Pegg’s performance). The story then wrote itself.

To read other stories based on the prompt, go to InLinkz.com.

The Pay Phone Puzzle

pay phone

© J Hardy Carroll

“What kind of phone is it, Grandpa?”

“An old pay phone. You used to put a quarter in to make a call.”

“Why not use a cell?”

“Well, little one, because they hadn’t been invented when people used these. This one is so low so that people in wheelchairs could reach it.”

“Who uses it now?”

“I don’t know. We’re in the Refugee Center so…”

“Ahem.”

Denise and Grandpa turned to see a refugee from the planet Gorlick behind them. He was green and only about a meter tall.

“Spare some change? Got to make a call.”

I wrote this for the Rochelle Wisoff-Fields photo prompt writing challenge. The idea is to use the image above as an inspiration for a piece of flash fiction no more than 100 words long. My word count is 97.

To read more stories based on the prompt, go to InLinkz.com.

Julio the Explorer

boat

© The Storyteller’s Abode

Stranded on a sandbar, Julio pointed to the rocks ahead of him and loudly declared, “I claim this land in the name of Philip the First, King of Portugal.”

Some said he was drunk. Some said he was mad. The children pointed at him and laughed, making up silly and insulting rhymes about Crazy Julio.

“I don’t care what you think. I claim this land. It is mine. King Philip will honor me.”

“King Philip has been dead for over four-hundred years.”

“To you maybe little one, but he lives for me.”

Julio jumped from his boat with a small Portuguese flag in his hand. “I shall plant this here in honor of Philip and Portugal.”

The children laughed and ran away. They’d like to have come back later to steal the flag, but it really was his estate. His family had owned the land in California for generations. Julio was neither drunk nor mad. He just liked to have fun and to entertain the children.

I wrote this for the FFfAW Challenge for Week of July 25, 2017. The idea is to use the photo above to prompt the writing of a piece of flash fiction between 100 and 175 words long with 150 words being the ideal. My word count is 166.

To read more stories based on the prompt, go to InLinkz.com.

The Proprietors

aliens and devil

© @any1mark66

“It wasn’t enough for you to just visit Jackson Hole like all the other tourists, you had to listen to that vagrant and take us down some little back road and we end up here.”

“You’ve got to admit Sheila, this is pretty unusual.”

“I want to go back to town, Frank. This place is scary.”

“Just a bunch of cheesy looking statues.”

“That’s what they all say, folks.”

Frank and Sheila turned to see an old woman, the one who’d been talking to the cashier when they first looked into the shop.

“My great-granddaddy told me all about it, even wrote it down, about the day aliens and the devil fought right here for possession of humanity.”

“Who won?”

“It came to a tie, young man. They share ownership of us. If you want to come into the back of the shop, I’ll introduce you to our proprietors.”

Written for FFfAW Challenge-Week of June 27, 2017 hosted by Priceless Joy. The idea is to use the photo prompt above to write a piece of flash fiction between 100 and 175 words long with 150 being the idea. My word count is 149.

To read other stories inspired by the prompt, go to InLinkz.com.

It’s Never the Same Twice

© A Mixed Bag 2012

Artie and Paul played chess in the cafeteria of “the old folks home” every Sunday afternoon.

“I got the pieces set up this time. Prepare to lose, you old bastard.” Paul chuckled as he ominously fingered one of the clear glass pawns.

“You prepare to lose you son of a bitch. You don’t even know how the game is played.” Artie insisted in always having the white pieces. They made him feel more virtuous somehow.

“I’ll get you now.” Paul moved his hand to one of his knights and jumped three squares forward.

Artie countered by having his right hand castle switch places with the pawn directly ahead and then moved it diagonally across the board.

Before the game was over, they’d attracted the usual crowd. Artie and Paul had never learned to play chess, but they were so much fun to watch. The “rules” they used to play by were never the same twice.

Written for Sunday Photo Fiction – June 11th 2017. The idea is to use the photo prompt above to write a piece of flash fiction no more than 200 words long. My word count is 155.

I saw the chess pieces set up and ready for play and had two thoughts. The first was the short Simon and Garfunkle song Old Friends (YouTube video). I got a very clear image of two old men, friends for decades, playing a game together complete with friendly jibes and the warmth of deep familiarity.

I also recalled a piece of trivia about the 2000 film X-Men. Professor Xavier (Patrick Stewart) and Eric Lensherr/Magneto (Ian McKellen) were supposed to have a scene together where they played chess, but initially neither of them knew how. A chess master had to be hired to teach them.

As I was writing, I also thought of the “Calvin and Hobbes” game Calvinball, a game where the rules are made up moment by moment. In real life, it would be incredibly difficult to accomplish, but in fiction, it’s a lot of fun.

To read other stories based on the prompt, visit InLinkz.com.

An Alien Walks Into A Bar

alien

Comic book cover from 1958

Frank Lyman was working on his third Vodka Collins when the alien came through the door. Frank had been stopping by Murphy’s Bar every Friday night after work for nearly ten years, and this was the first time he thought the booze was spiked.

All of the regulars at the bar, plus Murphy serving drinks behind it, froze like ice sculptures and stared.

“RJhmzzxpingwqupnmkl-ooo-dx!” Static came out of the alien’s spacesuit. It adjusted a knob on its chest.

“Better? Understand?”

“What?” Frank forgot to swallow and his drink dribbled onto his shirt.

“Spaceship broken. Roadside service here?”

Okay, I know the image I used as an inspiration doesn’t show a bar, but when I saw it, I thought it looked like the beginning of a bad joke, “An alien walks into a bar.” I wrote it for fun.

Flash fiction of 99 words.

Oh, the comic book was published in 1958.

Star Trek II: The Wrath of Tattoo

khan

Behind the scenes of the film Star Trek II: The Wrath of Kahn

If you like science fiction and/or are a Star Trek fan, you’ve probably seen the film Star Trek II: The Wrath of Kahn (1982) a time or two. In the movie, the late Ricardo Montalban reprised his role as Khan Noonien Singh which he first played in the original Star Trek series episode Space Seed (1967). I must admit that “Wrath of Khan” is one of my two favorite Star Trek films, the other being Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country (1991).

Some of you may know that Montalban also played the lead in a television show popular in the 1970s and early ’80s called Fantasy Island. Montalban portrayed the mysterious Mr. Roarke who had a diminutive assistant called Tattoo, who was played by Hervé Villechaize. Villechaize’s most famous line from the series is “The plane, the plane” (you had to be there).

I found a behind-the-scenes photo from “Wrath of Kahn” on a Facebook group called Science Fiction Cult Classics. It depicts Montalban as Kahn laughing at some inflated figure with Villechaize’s face on it, placed on the set as a gag.

This probably won’t be funny to anyone who didn’t see the television show and the film back in the day, but I thought I’d share anyway.