Just Walk Right In

jack-o-lanterns

Some creations of Steve Clark, the world’s fastest pumpkin carver – Found at History.com

“So, you think we should just walk right in?”

“Why not? The invitation seems pretty clear.”

“Look, I’m not all that sure about this ‘invitation’ business. After all, we’ve just got this one guy’s word for it.

“Yeah, but he worshiped the boss for like twenty-five years. He should know what he’s talking about.”

“Okay, I get that, but he’s gone over to the other side now, actually warning people about us and that invitation thing.”

“The pumpkin is the universal sign for us to pop in and make ourselves at home. I’ve heard it other places as well.”

“Like where?”

“I can’t remember, but I did hear about it. All we have to do is walk in and start messing around with the people inside.”

“But they’re…you know…worshipers of the other guy. What if they kick us out? They can do that, you know.”

“That’s just it, stupid. By putting the pumpkin next to their door, they’ve weakened their position. Look through the window. The kids inside are trying on costumes. Another problem, for them that is. It’s a big plus for us.”

“How’s that?”

“This is what the boss likes. People from the other side doing stuff that belongs to his side. You know, dressing up like ghosts and goblins, pumpkins and witches, it’s the one night of the year when these oh so holy characters let their hair down, not to mention their defenses, and let us in.”

“Well, if you say so.”

“Hey, I know so, brother demon. Now come on. We’ve wasted enough time. Maybe they have a few cold beers in the fridge. I could go for some suds right about now.”

The two small demons who had left Hell for the first time on their maiden voyage to create mischief among humans walked toward the front door. They were only a few inches tall, being beginner imps, and the door was closed, but with the pumpkin, carved to ghastly perfection sitting to one side, that wasn’t going to be a problem. They should just pass right through the fake pine veneer and into the residence.

“Ouch.”

“What?”

“Bumped my nose on the door.”

“Wait! You said…”

“I know what I said. Let me try again.”

A moment later, “Ouch”.

“Let me see. Hmmmm. A little bile oozing out, but not that bad.”

“Bad? I shouldn’t have bumped my nose at all, I should be halfway to the fridge ready to suck down a Coors.”

“I’m gonna try.” A moment later. “Ouch.”

He turned away from the door back to his brother demon who was still rubbing his schnoz. “Are you sure about that invitation thing? Maybe it was a gag?”

“Maybe that idiot didn’t know what he was talking about on that video.”

“See? This is what I was trying to tell you.”

“Okay, okay. I get your point. How about we try that bar on the corner we passed earlier? The guys going in had jackets that said ‘Hell’s Angels’. Sounds like our kind of folks.”

Earlier I wrote a commentary based in part off of this Christian news story. I decided to use it as a prompt for a wee bit of Halloween comedy.

3 thoughts on “Just Walk Right In

  1. Comedy and ridicule notwithstanding, this would likely be a good time to refer folks to literature like CS Lewis’ “The Screwtape Letters” and Mark Twain’s “The Mysterious Stranger” for a sobering picture of the characters in view. OTOH, one may simply ignore the celebration that reflects a cultural-religious conflict between Catholicism and paganism in Europe, as irrelevant to anyone holding a truly biblical worldview.

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      • Secular world, you say? Oddly, it seems to me that I’ve almost always had a sense that the imagery of this holiday, along with the Santa Clause imagery, was somehow religious in nature, even when I was not viewing them as an outsider.

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