Tag Archives: rabbi zelig pliskin

Quoting: Don’t Spread the Insult

Some people become so upset when they are insulted, that they repeat the incident to others who would otherwise not know about it! By giving the matter additional attention, you are causing yourself additional embarrassment!

Sources: Rabainu Yonah to Mishle 12:16; Rabbi Zelig Pliskin’s “Gateway to Happiness,” p.298

Interestingly enough, thanks to sharing, retweeting, and reblogging, insults get spread all the time, spreading outrage and indignation to epic proportions, even when the original event might have been relatively minor.

Quoting: Your Attitude Toward Insults

Some people mistakenly say, “He hurt my feelings,” or “He made me feel bad.” But in actuality, no one can hurt your feelings or make you feel bad — unless you allow their words to affect you. Your attitude toward an insult causes you pain, not the insult itself.

The emotional pain of an insult comes from what you add to it.

-from Rabbi Zelig Pliskin’s “Gateway to Happiness,” p.294

These messages appear in a newsletter I receive daily from Aish.com, so I don’t choose the content. That said, the message above is exactly what I’ve been trying to communicate about people and their visceral reaction to the current political climate, and particularly the guy who is now sitting in the Oval Office. No one can “hurt your feelings” unless you let them. Yes, I know, we all let others take control of our emotions at times, including me, but it doesn’t mean we have to, and it never means we have to give our power over to others.

Quoting: Help As Only You Can

Every person has unique talents, skills, knowledge, and resources.

Utilize these to help others in ways that are uniquely yours. Learn from the kind deeds of other people, but don’t compare yourself with anyone else. Others will be able to do things that you can’t. And only you will be able to do certain things.

-from Rabbi Zelig Pliskin’s book “Kindness.”

Quoting: The Benefits of Trust

When you have trust in the Almighty, you have peace of mind. Even in very troubled times, a person with this trust will be able to handle life without worry and sadness. He experiences joy regardless of how much he possesses. He does not feel a lack, and he does not worry about what will happen tomorrow. He feels intensely that when he has this trust, he has everything.

Moreover, even if he does lack something today, he does not worry about it. His situation is similar to a growing, successful company. Even if on one particular day no orders come in, they don’t worry. They know they have the right product and eventually will make a large profit.

So, too, with a person who has trust in the Almighty. Even if he is temporarily missing some things he needs, he will not complain. He feels secure that the Almighty will send him all that he truly needs. He maintains an inner serenity because he is certain that his path is the path of life.

Sources: see Rabbi Yosef Hurwitz of Nevardok – Madraigos Haadam – Bitachon; Rabbi Zelig Pliskin’s “Consulting the Wise”

Quoting: Give the People What They Want

Every person in the world waits for signs of recognition and affection.

Students wait for signs of friendliness from their teacher; teachers await signs of respect from students. Children want signs of empathy from their parents; parents hunger for affection from their children. A customer wants his needs to be understood; a salesperson needs to feel that his merchandise is appreciated.

So give people what they want!

Sources: Alai Shur, vol.1, p.191; Rabbi Zelig Pliskin’s Gateway to Happiness, p.138

Quoting: Insults Come From Ignorance

Rabbi Yitzhak Meltzin never got angry with another person. If someone insulted him, he always ignored it. He said, “It is wrong to insult someone, and if this person insulted me it is because he lacks the necessary understanding. So why should I be angry at someone for his ignorance?”

Sources: Tnuas Hamussar; Rabbi Pliskin’s Gateway to Happiness

Quoting: Act as if in Company

When strangers are present, a person finds it much easier to control his temper than when he is just among family.

The next time you feel angry at a member of your family, think how you would act differently if a stranger were present.

Sources: Maaneh Rach, ch.5; Rabbi Zelig Pliskin’s Gateway to Happiness, p.210

Quoting: Make a Top Ten List

Make A Top Ten List

When you feel that problems are weighing you down, make a list of 10 reasons why you can still be happy.

If the reasons come from an external source, you might brush them off. But if you develop a list yourself, you will always be able to find at least 10 reasons that are “real” to you.

-From Rabbi Zelig Pliskin’s book “Gateway to Happiness,” p.180