Since you are part of the planet, and also part of the entire universe, by your making yourself a more joyous and serene person, our planet and the entire universe is automatically a more joyous and serene place. By your reacting in an elevated manner, the world has become a better place. Let this thought empower you. This will broaden your feeling of self-importance and increase the value of what you say and do.
Sources: see Rav Zelig Pliskin’s “Anger: The Inner Teacher,” p.340
One person who frequently lost his temper, finally learned to control it with the following method:
Whenever he felt angry at someone, he would take a sip of water and hold it in his mouth for five minutes. Only after the five minutes passed would he criticize someone.
During this time his anger subsided and he was able to talk calmly.
Sources: Erech Apayim, p. 85; Rabbi Pliskin’s Gateway to Happiness, p.211
There is a mitzvah in the Torah to judge people favorably (Leviticus 19:15). When we fulfill this commandment properly, we will not get angry with others.
Whenever you get angry with someone, it is because you are blaming him for doing or not doing something. If you realize that it’s not his fault, you won’t be angry with him. For example, if someone took your umbrella, you might get angry with him. If, however, you find out that he is blind and mistakenly thought he was taking his own umbrella, you won’t be angry.
By making it your habit to judge people favorably, you will be able to assume that perhaps the person made an honest mistake, and had different intentions than you assumed.
While we should be on guard to protect ourselves from possible harm, when nothing practical can be done about a situation, we should not assume guilt. Keep asking yourself, “How can I judge this person favorably?”
Sources: Erech Apayim, p.45; Rabbi Zelig Pliskin’s Gateway to Happiness, p.203
The Talmud states: “When a person becomes angry, he acquires only his anger.”
There are usually no benefits in becoming angry at others. Becoming angry merely causes harm to your health and makes you feel miserable. Your anger does not help you, and the person you are angry with usually pays less attention to what you are saying than if you’d have said it tactfully and patiently.
Sources: Kiddushin 41a; Toras Avraham, p.440; Rabbi Zelig Pliskin’s “Gateway to Happiness,” p.189
When strangers are present, a person finds it much easier to control his temper than when he is just among family.
The next time you feel angry at a member of your family, think how you would act differently if a stranger were present.
Sources: Maaneh Rach, ch.5; Rabbi Zelig Pliskin’s Gateway to Happiness, p.210
Have compassion on people who become angry easily. The person may have negative feelings about himself. By understanding the source of his anger, you will be able to deal with him more effectively.
As regards yourself, if you have chronic feelings of guilt or inadequacy, you are apt to lose your temper easily. For this reason many perfectionists have bad tempers. Since they make almost impossible demands of themselves, they feel tense and strained, which often leads to anger.
While always trying to improve, accept yourself. This will lead to the most healthy growth.
-from Rabbi Zelig Pliskin’s Gateway to Happiness, p.196
Realize that even the greatest people make errors of judgment when they are angry. Moshe was on an extremely high spiritual level and had profound insights. Nevertheless, when he became angry he erred in understanding the Almighty’s will.
Think of three incidents when you made mistakes because you became angry. Right now, mentally “relive” those situations and imagine yourself handling them instead in the best possible way. Let this serve as a resource for the future.
Sources: see Ralbag – Shaar hasavslanus, no.10
Rabbi Zelig Pliskin – Found at the website promoting the book “The Light From Zion.”
A basic reason we get angry is because we exaggerate the importance of things. When we realize that something is trivial and unimportant, we don’t become angry.
Whenever you feel angry about something, try to see how petty the matter is in the big picture. The vast majority of occurrences fall into this category. Keep in mind that we are in this world for a very short time, and the things that upset us are of minor importance in the entire scheme of the universe.
Sources: Erech Apayim ,p.94; Rabbi Zelig Pliskin’s Gateway to Happiness, p .202-3
This would be another way to tone down the vitriol on social media including in the blogosphere if we could all take a minute to examine our reactions (and this applies to me as well as to anyone else.
Shut up, Wesley meme
“It is impossible to see a fault in someone else if you don’t have it in yourself.” -Anonymous
I’ve been thinking about the amazing amount of kvetching going on in social media and especially twitter. I’ve participated in a certain amount of it as well, as chronicled in blog posts such as This is the World of Science Fiction and WorldCon?, Part 2: This is the World of Science Fiction and WorldCon?, and Here We Go Again: Comicsgate. In the last comment I made in the last blog post listed, I decided to take the moral high road and not participate in such spitting contests and the measuring of each other’s male genitalia. However, I came across something interesting.
Wil Wheaton quits social media
Apparently, actor Wil Wheaton of Shut up, Wesley fame has made a rather big deal of quitting social media because people were mean to him.
Okay, I get it. People are mean to each other all over twitter, and someone like Wheaton, who arguably played the most unpopular character in STTNG, and who was once compared with Jar Jar Binks on a closed Science Fiction group in Facebook makes a really big target. Actually, I kind of feel sorry for him as on his blog, he said:
Found at cbt4panic.org website – no image credit given
What started all this was a post by conservative speculative fiction writer Jon Del Arroz at the SuperversiveSF blog called My Post Mocking Feminism Goes Viral – Twitter Locks My Account. Apparently, his twitter account was temporarily locked again, this time for mocking something called National No Bra Day which is supposed to raise awareness about breast cancer by having women go braless (sort of like No-Shave November). This year, the event is on Saturday, October 13th, which makes it odd that anyone would bring up the topic now. Anyway, here’s Del Arroz’s tweet for your consideration.
If you go to Mr. Del Arroz’s blog, you’ll see that he is frequently critical of leftist and progressive causes, and leftist speculative fiction author Jim C. Hines went so far as to post a lengthy missive on his blog chronicling, in great detail, a list of Del Arroz’s supposed “trolling and harassing.”
On the other hand, I’ve been assured by numerous people who I respect that Del Arroz is being treated unfairly by a number of authors (such as Mr. Hines), and particularly by several Cons (conventions) for his religious and political views.