The flowing water was marginally warmer than the frigid air, but Lance dressed for the weather and felt comfortable crouching down on a flat rock near the falls. At his feet patiently sat the urn. When he first met Tamara a decade ago, he never thought she liked the cold and the mountains so much. He was used to snow, being raised as a “flatlander,” but he’d have a hard time getting used to the altitude.
Pouring out the open clay container, her ashes rained into the stream like tears. “I wish I would have told you I loved you.”
I wrote this for the Rochelle Wisoff-Fields writing challenge. The idea is to use the image above as the prompt for crafting a piece of flash fiction no more than 100 words long. My word count is 100.
Yesterday, I wrote the opening to a wee Space Opera called The Girl He Left Behind, which was my response to a completely different writing challenge. You can’t tell because of the brevity of this piece, but this is the aftermath of winning an interstellar war, with Lance being one of the few survivors. He takes the ashes of one of his fellow soldiers, a woman he always thought was just a friend, but who had fallen in love with him, back to her homeworld, the only one to have not been destroyed.
War isn’t kind, even to the victors.
To read other stories based on the prompt, visit InLinkz.com.
Interesting. 😊
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Thanks.
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Without your explanation I simply took this as a piece of real world reality – which I always think is a sign of good science fiction.
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Thanks, Iain. Yes, if science fiction doesn’t communicate the humanity of the characters (even the aliens), then it hasn’t done its job.
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It works without the background. I responded to the difference between verticality and horizontality
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Thanks, Neil.
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Dear James,
Touching piece.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thanks, Rochelle.
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I liked this very much James.
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Thanks.
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A subtle and poignant reflection of grief and the regret which so often accompanies it.
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Thanks, Jilly.
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Bittersweet… in the whole meaning of the word. So many things go unsaid, when those we love are taken too soon.
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Thank you, Magaly.
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This was beautiful and did not need the footnote. It allowed us to imagine it as we wished.
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True. I guess it was more for me. Thanks.
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The story was touching and very real.
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Thanks, Jo.
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Very sad, a missed opportunity.
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There are so many in life. Thanks.
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A well-written story of regret. This works whether it is science-fiction or based on reality.
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Thanks, Clare.
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I liked this even before I read your explanation.
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Thanks, Liz. I just published what happens next a few minutes ago.
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Such a poignant way of saying final goodbye. Many a time in life we miss out saying the most important thing to the most important person.
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That’s very true. Thanks, Abhijit.
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Touching and a reminder to us to tell those we love how we feel constantly and before it’s too late
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Thanks, Michael. Trouble is, we never know when our or someone else’s time is up, so it’s best to say what you need to say as soon as you can.
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Beautifully written scene even without the explanation, but that was nice too. So sad he never told her but scattering her ashes is a lovely memorial.
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Thank you, Brenda.
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This is kind of a universal experience, isn’t it? The regret is always keen, but especially when one is robbed of love through war. Well done.
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