Rabbi Yitzhak Meltzin never got angry with another person. If someone insulted him, he always ignored it. He said, “It is wrong to insult someone, and if this person insulted me it is because he lacks the necessary understanding. So why should I be angry at someone for his ignorance?”
Sources: Tnuas Hamussar; Rabbi Pliskin’s Gateway to Happiness
Baroness Jenny Tonge (screen capture: YouTube)
While there has been a lot of buzz about alleged “MAGA Bomber” Cesar Sayoc, the same people who object and protest after every mass shooting seem relatively quiet in the wake of the Pittsburgh Synagogue Shooting where at least 11 people lost their lives while attending a brit milah ceremony.
Not sure if this means the general public views shooting Jews differently than shooting anyone else, and I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but what really bugs me is when people start to blame the victim.
In this case, I’m referring to Jenny Tonge, a British House of Lords lawmaker who, according to a Times of Israel story:
When strangers are present, a person finds it much easier to control his temper than when he is just among family.
The next time you feel angry at a member of your family, think how you would act differently if a stranger were present.
Sources: Maaneh Rach, ch.5; Rabbi Zelig Pliskin’s Gateway to Happiness, p.210
Make A Top Ten List
When you feel that problems are weighing you down, make a list of 10 reasons why you can still be happy.
If the reasons come from an external source, you might brush them off. But if you develop a list yourself, you will always be able to find at least 10 reasons that are “real” to you.
-From Rabbi Zelig Pliskin’s book “Gateway to Happiness,” p.180
Think about past experiences that you didn’t exactly enjoy. Look back at those experiences and view them as part of your lifetime growth seminar. Keep learning new lessons and gain new strengths.
-from Rabbi Zelig Pliskin’s book “Happiness”,p.118
The best time to mentally prepare yourself for times of adversity is when things are going well and you are in a resourceful state. Adversity is a challenge that enables you to develop attributes that wouldn’t be developed in easier times. Keep building up the inner resources that will enable you to cope well with difficulties. If you are in the middle of a difficulty right now, then right now is the best time to build up those resources. You won’t have to wait and see if the inner resources you need are becoming a part of you, you will see results right away.
Develop courage and confidence. Develop persistence and resilience. Develop optimism and hope. How can you develop these qualities? Visualize yourself mastering them. See, hear, and feel yourself being confident and courageous. See, hear, and feel yourself persisting and bouncing back. Right now feel an inner sense of optimism that you will cope well with difficulties. And if a difficulty arises that you don’t cope with as well as you wished, learn from the experience to cope better next time.
-from Rabbi Zelig Pliskin’s “Happiness”,p.196-7
Our goal should be to keep improving ourselves, rather than “being the best.”
Someone who feels the need to be “the best” should ask himself, “Why do I really have to be better than others? What is so awful if someone else is better than me in any given area?”
People who feel the need to be “the best” often suffer much anxiety. They frequently tell themselves, “If I am not the best, then I am a failure. I am nothing.”
There is no basis for this. In ultimate terms, no human can really say who is best. Comparing yourself to anyone else is arbitrary — so why cause yourself misery by doing so?
-from Rabbi Zelig Pliskin’s “Gateway to Happiness,” p.130
If you’re a regular reader here, you have probably noticed that my productivity has fallen off lately. I’ve been crazy busy, both at my day job and at home, so haven’t had the bandwidth to do much (if any) writing. I hope this changes soon.
Image: ABC.net.au / Rocky Roe
When you look at your past, focus on the things you have to be thankful for.
Sources: see Rabbi Eliezer Zev Luft; Tnuas Hamussar, vol.5, p.302; Rabbi Zelig Pliskin’s Gateway to Happiness, p.37
I was spending time drawing with my three-year-old granddaughter, and while she was scribbling on her piece of paper, I borrowed another she’d lightly worked on and added a few things.
I can see all the colors of autumn out my back window, so naturally, I started with a tree. Then, because I read one of my dragon stories to my nine-year-old grandson earlier, I had to add a few of them.
Enjoy.
© James Pyles
Feeling guilty is the lazy way of reacting. A guilty person resigns himself to keeping his faults and does not try to take actions to improve.
Don’t use guilt feelings to justify laziness and procrastination. If a person tends to think in terms of guilt, when he hears an idea he will say to himself, “How awful it is that I’m not following that idea.”
It is more productive to keep focus on what you can do to implement the principle or concept.
-from Rabbi Zelig Pliskin’s “Gateway to Happiness,” p.222
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