The tests and challenges that come to a person from the Almighty are so concealed and subtle the person being tested usually does not feel what is happening to him is a test. If he is aware it is just a test, he would definitely be able to withstand the difficulties and rise to the challenge, but then the test would not be a real test. Therefore, tests are concealed in such a manner that a person thinks they are merely obstacles and nuisances. A person who withstands such tests is truly elevated.
Sources: Tehilas yoel, p.190;Rabbi Zelig Pliskin’s Gateway to Happiness, p.235
When you are faced with a challenge, you have many choices of how to view it. Some ways can cause more pain than necessary.
For example, your spouse might push your buttons more than anyone else. But you can look at this challenge as a vote of confidence from your Creator. You can say to yourself, “G-d believes in me. He believes that I can face this challenge and grow from it. If He believes that I can handle it, then I’m confident that He gave me the intelligence and emotional strength to deal with this.”
Be the best person you can be. The more difficult the situation, the better person you become by acting in an elevated way. Our purpose in this world is to keep growing and developing our character. Without challenges… our growth is limited.
-from Rabbi Zelig Pliskin’s book entitled “Marriage” – ArtScroll Publications, 1998, Chapter One, p.55