When a person has mastered the trait of trust in G-d, (“bitachon”), he will look forward to difficult life-tests in order to show his love for the Almighty. His devotion to the Almighty in difficult situations is a manifestation of his high spiritual level and he actually welcomes these tests.
-See Rabbi Yosef Hurwitz of Nevardok – Madraigos Haadam; Rabbi Zelig Pliskin’s “Consulting the Wise”
A student of Rabbi Nochum Zev Ziv once erred in the pronunciation of a word when publicly repeating the Amidah prayer. Someone pointed out the correct pronunciation, and the student repeated the word accurately. However, the student became confused and nervous and made many more errors.
After the prayers, Rabbi Nochum Zev approached him and said, “How is it possible to be so arrogant? Do you think you are so perfect that you cannot possibly make any mistakes?”
When I told the above story to someone, they asked, “Won’t the student feel even worse and more upset by the fact that his teacher told him he was arrogant?”
It depends on how such a message comes across. If said with understanding and concern, the message is, “I care about you. Why do you have to make yourself so upset over a minor error? Of course, you are fallible and make mistakes. Expect to make mistakes and keep trying to improve, but do not feel devastated when you err.”
Sources: Imrai Daas, p.218; Gateway to Happiness, pp.130-1
Seeing things from the other person’s point of view has a profound effect on our emotional health, since the totality of how we relate to others is dependent on this concept. When you master the ability to view others as they see themselves, you will gain the love of everyone.
Today, think of someone you find it difficult to get along with. See this person as he views himself and patiently talk to him from his perspective.
Sources: see Rabbi Eliyahu Eliezer Dessler – Michtav MaiEliyahu, vol.4, p.244
Have compassion on people who become angry easily. The person may have negative feelings about himself. By understanding the source of his anger, you will be able to deal with him more effectively.
As regards yourself, if you have chronic feelings of guilt or inadequacy, you are apt to lose your temper easily. For this reason many perfectionists have bad tempers. Since they make almost impossible demands of themselves, they feel tense and strained, which often leads to anger.
While always trying to improve, accept yourself. This will lead to the most healthy growth.
-from Rabbi Zelig Pliskin’s Gateway to Happiness, p.196
For some people, the most difficult thing in the world is to ask for forgiveness.
If you find it difficult to ask for forgiveness, visualize yourself asking for forgiveness. Mentally see yourself approaching someone and saying, “I am sorry that I caused you pain. Please forgive me.” Rerun this picture in your mind over and over again. Feel a sense of strength and release at being able to do this.
Each time you ask for forgiveness and find it difficult, you are building up your inner resource of courage.
-from Rabbi Zelig Pliskin’s book, “Courage”
Courage is the quality of great people. More accurately it is a quality that creates greatness. It is the quality of Abraham who recognized the Creator and was willing to give his life for this awareness.
It is the quality of Moses who approached Pharaoh and told him, “Let my people go.” It is the quality of Mordechai who refused to bow to the wicked Haman; and of Esther who approached King Achashverosh on behalf of her people even though she was risking her life.
Courage is the quality of people throughout the ages who were willing to sacrifice everything to live a Torah life. It is the quality that will elevate and empower you throughout your life.
-from Rabbi Zelig Pliskin’s book, “Courage”
We should be careful of our actions in life, just as a person playing chess thinks carefully before making any move. Always weigh what you are planning, to see if you might later regret your move.
In a game of chess, which has no major ramifications in a person’s life whether he wins or loses, each player takes much time to think of every alternative and weigh its consequences. All the more so in daily behavior, always think before speaking or taking action. We have much more to gain or lose and should at least be as patient as when playing chess.
Sources: Rabbi Bunim of Pashischo – Siach Sarfai Kodesh, vol.5, p.58; Rabbi Zelig Pliskin’s “Gateway to Happiness,” p.259
Use prayer to help overcome sadness. Talk to the Almighty in your own language. Tell Him how awful you feel. Ask Him for the strength to cope with your present difficulties, and to grow from them.
-from Rabbi Zelig Pliskin’s “Gateway to Happiness,” p.180
The mitzvah to develop our character is the mitzvah to “walk in the ways of our Creator.” Viewing events and situations in this light will elevate the mundane, for in the ultimate view of life nothing is mundane. Every moment presents its unique, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
By acting and reacting in ways that are kind, compassionate, understanding, and sensitive, you emulate the Creator and bring the Shechinah (Divine presence) into your home. No accomplishment could be greater.
-from Rabbi Zelig Pliskin”s book entitled “Marriage” – ArtScroll Publications, 1998, Introduction, p.11
I remember walking with my father to his synagogue in East Baltimore on Shabbat. The neighborhood was a tough one. There weren’t very many individuals with yarmulkes, and I would feel a bit uncomfortable. But my father kept telling me not to be self-conscious. He radiated self-confidence and friendliness.
People of all races would ask him for his blessings and prayers. His good nature enabled him to view everyone as a friend — and people reciprocated.
-from Rabbi Zelig Pliskin’s book, “Courage”
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