Don’t complain that other people keep asking you to do things for them. If others come to you for help, it’s an expression that they believe you are a kind person.
You might not be able to meet other people’s needs right now, but by being aware of their needs, you might think of a creative solution.
-from Rabbi Zelig Pliskin’s book “Kindness.”
“Death and life are in the power of the tongue” (Proverbs 18:21).
If you were writing a newspaper article, you’d be sure to choose your words carefully. You’d even ask others to help edit what you wrote.
It is equally crucial to watch what you say when speaking to your husband or wife. Your words to your spouse can create feelings of joy, love, closeness, gratitude, and hopefully even radiant bliss. Your words can console, comfort, inspire, motivate, elevate.
Other words can create feelings of pain, distress, and anger.
Choose carefully.
-from Rabbi Zelig Pliskin’s book entitled “Marriage” – ArtScroll Publications, 1998, p. 137
A master at accessing and creating joyous states will find it easier to master patience. While others stew and fret over delays and the need to wait, the joyous person will use the Creator’s gift of a brain to experience positive thoughts and feelings.
-from Rabbi Zelig Pliskin’s book “Patience.”
Develop the habit of repeating, “This, too, will increase my patience.”
How often will you say this? The more impatient you are when you start this process, the more frequently you will find this beneficial. The problem itself will be the source of the solution.
-from Rabbi Zelig Pliskin’s book “Patience,”
In order to have peace of mind, prepare yourself in advance to accept with serenity whatever occurs. People who expect everything to go the way they want are caught off balance by difficult life situations. Have an awareness that difficulties constantly arise. Being prepared in advance to accept what happens makes it much easier to cope with the vicissitudes of life.
When you feel anxiety about a future event, imagine the worst and accept it. This has a very calming effect. For example, if you are afraid you will miss a bus and feel anxiety, imagine you have already missed it and accept the consequences. If you are afraid you will be fired from your job, imagine you have already been fired and accept it.
Then “reality” can only get better!
Sources: see Ohr Yechezkail: michtavim, p.286; Rabbi Zelig Pliskin’s Gateway to Happiness, p.75
The tests and challenges that come to a person from the Almighty are so concealed and subtle the person being tested usually does not feel what is happening to him is a test. If he is aware it is just a test, he would definitely be able to withstand the difficulties and rise to the challenge, but then the test would not be a real test. Therefore, tests are concealed in such a manner that a person thinks they are merely obstacles and nuisances. A person who withstands such tests is truly elevated.
Sources: Tehilas yoel, p.190;Rabbi Zelig Pliskin’s Gateway to Happiness, p.235
God’s acceptance of our commitment to correct (“teshuva”) is a miracle greater than all other miracles.
The requirements of teshuva are: regret for what one has done wrong in the past, and resolve to improve in the future.
To the degree a person is aware of his wrongdoings and feels pain for what he has done, to that same degree his teshuva is of greater value. The essential thing is to feel extreme joy for the miracle of teshuva, and to praise the Almighty for this good fortune.
Sources: Rabbi Moshe Chevroni; Masaas Moshe, p.65; Rabbi Zelig Pliskin’s Gateway to Happiness, p.228
Would you like to become an expert on how to be calm in all sorts of challenging situations? Do not just rely on your own ingenuity. Keep asking people who appear to be calm, “Would you mind if I ask you how you are able to be so calm?” Most people will happily share their thoughts on the subject with you.
-from Rabbi Zelig Pliskin’s book, Serenity, p.72
When you are not yet ready to take action, visualize yourself taking the action that you would really like to do. This way even though you are not in a frame of mind to actually take the specific action, you are mentally preparing yourself.
Your mental pictures will make it easier for you to take action. When you run pictures of yourself doing the things that you want to do, this mental rehearsal will shorten the amount of time it takes to build up your willingness to act.
Mentally picturing yourself taking action will help you overcome the resistance you are feeling. Anything we’ve successfully done in real life makes it more likely that we will take that action again. Anything that we’ve visualized doing is stored in our brain as if we actually took that action.
-from Rabbi Zelig Pliskin’s book: “Taking Action” – page 101
When your first reaction is not to take the action that you really want to do, ask yourself, “Who do I know has a positive attitude about taking action? Now let me borrow his mind, as it were. Let me borrow his brain in my own unique way.” Make yourself feel the way you imagine he feels about the situation and task at hand.
On a screen in your mind, see this person taking action with zrizus. Now on the same screen, see yourself taking action in a similar way. Run through that picture over and over again.
-from Rabbi Zelig Pliskin’s book: “Taking Action” – page 95.
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