Tag Archives: rabbi zelig pliskin

Quoting: Fear of Disapproval

Frequently people worry about the possibility that others might fail to show them respect and approval. While details differ for each person, the underlying factor is fear of disapproval — people might think you lack intelligence, or other virtues and abilities.

Realize that the pain you suffer from worrying about this is much greater than that of actual disapproval.

Try to accept the worst. Imagine that every person who sees you will have a low opinion of you. Emotionally accept this. Once you’ve accepted this, although you might not like it, you will no longer need to worry about lack of approval.

-from Rabbi Zelig Pliskin’s “Gateway to Happiness,” p.163

On the web and especially in the world of social media opinion, it’s easy to get caught up in everyone’s approval or disapproval, depending on who you are or where you stand on certain issues. In the end though, the Rabbi is right. Whether someone approves or disapproves of you is hardly relevant compared to how you let it affect you. No one can tell you who you are or that you are unworthy unless you let them. Don’t let them.

Quoting: Growth is Gradual

A person who tries to force himself to change his character in an extremely short time is apt to become depressed and will not be successful. Set reasonable goals for yourself. Work on your faults little by little.

If you make impossible demands on yourself, you will feel frustrated and miserable.

-from Cheshbon Hanefesh #17; Rabbi Zelig Pliskin’s Gateway to Happiness, p.177

Quoting: Keep Focused on Your Goal

Always ask yourself: “What is my goal right now?”

When you keep focused on a specific goal, you are less likely to get sidetracked by venting your anger at someone. You’ll discover that your real goal is incompatible with losing your temper and shouting.

For example, an employer wants his employee to do a good job. Encouragement is more likely to achieve that goal than yelling. Similarly, parents want their children to learn positive values. A friendly, warm talk is more effective than angry outbursts.

By being aware of your original target and goal, you will stay focused and accomplish more.

-from Rabbi Zelig Pliskin’s book “Gateway to Happiness,” p.211

Quoting: Be Respectful No Matter What

The Torah gives us an important rule in relationships: Even though you are suffering, you have no right to cause suffering to others. Whatever your distress, you still need to speak and act with respect. If you are ever in a bad mood, be especially careful not to speak or act to others in a way that will be distressful for them.

Sources: see Rabbi Eliyahu Eliezer Dessler – Michtav MaiEliyahu, vol.4, 246; Rabbi Zelig Pliskin’s “Consulting the Wise”

This definitely has applications in the blogosphere and social media in general, but I’m not sure what the result would be. I suspect each group would interpret it to mean “listen to me and anyone who disagrees with me should shut up,” but that’s just a guess. Oops. I think this means I may not have taken the Rabbi’s advice to heart.

Quoting: The Greatest Day of Your Life

What would help you view today as the greatest day of your life? If today you have a greater awareness of your immense intrinsic value than ever before, then today is the greatest day of your life. If today you decide to upgrade your character beyond ways that you have done before, then today is the greatest day of your life. If today you make goals and plans that go beyond previous goals and plans, then today is the greatest day of your life.

If today you have a greater spiritual awareness and feel more connected with the Creator than ever before, then today is the greatest day of your life.

-from Rabbi Zelig Pliskin’s book Happiness,p.105

Quoting: See Frustrations in Perspective

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Rabbi Zelig Pliskin – Found at the website promoting the book “The Light From Zion.”

A basic reason we get angry is because we exaggerate the importance of things. When we realize that something is trivial and unimportant, we don’t become angry.

Whenever you feel angry about something, try to see how petty the matter is in the big picture. The vast majority of occurrences fall into this category. Keep in mind that we are in this world for a very short time, and the things that upset us are of minor importance in the entire scheme of the universe.

Sources: Erech Apayim ,p.94; Rabbi Zelig Pliskin’s Gateway to Happiness, p .202-3

This would be another way to tone down the vitriol on social media including in the blogosphere if we could all take a minute to examine our reactions (and this applies to me as well as to anyone else.

Quoting: Self-Conscious About Praise

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Rabbi Zelig Pliskin – Found at the website promoting the book “The Light From Zion.”

Rabbi Yaakov Yitzchak, the Chozeh of Lublin, once praised someone in the presence of other people, and the person’s face turned red. The rabbi told him, “You have not yet reached the proper level. Work on yourself to react to praise and insults in the same manner. Try to rise above caring whether someone praises or insults you. You are still too self-conscious about being praised.”

Sources: Eser Orot, p.94; Rabbi Zelig Pliskin’s Gateway to Happiness, p.284

Imagine not being outwardly affected either by praise or insults. If we could all rise above caring if someone praises us or insults us, I suspect social media would be one empty place, or at least a lot more civil.

Quoting: Boost Your Self Esteem Objectively

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Rabbi Zelig Pliskin – Found at the website promoting the book “The Light From Zion.”

People with low self-esteem are frequently very good people by objective standards, but have high aspirations and hence feel frustrated in not reaching their lofty goals. Since they are not perfect, they consider themselves failures and this leads to many negative consequences.

It is important for such people to realize they are thinking in either/or terms: “Either I am perfect, or else I am a failure.”

In truth, each area of behavior and personality has numerous levels along a continuum. If you are not perfect, you need not rate yourself as a failure. Focus on improvement, instead of absolute perfection.

It is worthwhile for a person with low self-esteem to write a list of the minimum standards of a basically good person. He is then able to see more objectively whether or not he is meeting those standards.

-from Rabbi Zelig Pliskin’s book Gateway to Happiness, p.132

Quoting: The Wealth of Torah

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Rabbi Zelig Pliskin – Found at the website promoting the book “The Light From Zion.”

During a holiday, students at the Lakewood Yeshiva were elated at the words of Rabbi Aharon Kotler, the Rosh Yeshiva, who had just delivered an inspiring holiday lecture.

At the end of his talk, the students began to sing a tune to the words from King David’s Psalms, “Were it not for Thy Torah being my delight, I would have succumbed to my poverty…”

Rabbi Kotler interrupted the singing, and said with great joy:

“King David was tremendously wealthy. Yet except for the enduring possession of Torah, King David was drowning in a sea of poverty!”

-from Rabbi Shaul Kagan – Jewish Observer 5/73; cited in Rabbi Zelig Pliskin’s Gateway to Happiness, p.97

Sorry I haven’t been around much, but I was visiting my aged Mom in Southwestern Utah, an eight or nine hour drive from where I live in Southwestern Idaho. Just got back yesterday, but then we have the grandkids, so I’m still busy. Managed to finally catch up on my sleep last night, but will still be busy catching up with events at home, so my online writing will still suffer.