Tag Archives: motivation

Quoting: Overcome Fears Blocking Action

When trying to influence someone and you find that your first approach is not effective, try to figure out what specifically is holding him back from accepting your position. For example: What fears might he have? What obstacles might he be focusing on that would make it difficult for him? Then show the person why he has no reason to be afraid and that the potential obstacles will not be a problem.

Today, think about what fears are holding you back from taking some positive action that you know is in your best interest. Imagine that you have been given the gift of tremendous courage and confidence. Let this empower you – and resolve to take action!

Sources: see Ralbag – Shaar ahavas rayim, no.12

Quoting: A Soft Reply Turns Away Anger

“A soft reply turns away anger.” (Proverbs 15:1)

When you communicate to others in a soft manner, this will calm someone who is already angry at you. This refers to both your tone of voice and the content of what you say. Be mentally prepared to apply this to someone who is likely to speak to you in anger.

When the person who is angry has a valid complaint against you, admit that he’s right – and this will calm him down.

Sources: see Vilna Gaon – Proverbs 14:30 and 15:1; Rabbi Zelig Pliskin – “Consulting the Wise”

Quoting: Choose Your Thoughts to Avoid Worry

Worry is when you choose from millions of possible thoughts, only the few which deal with a potential misfortune or problem.

Once you accept your worrying as the act of choosing specific thoughts, you can consciously make an effort to avoid those thoughts that cause you needless pain and choose more constructive, positive thoughts.

-from Rabbi Zelig Pliskin’s Gateway to Happiness, pp.157-8

Quoting: Show Concern Instead of Anger

Rabbi Yitzchok Blauser’s daughter once went to the cupboard, and all the glasses, cups and dishes fell and broke. He did not get angry at her, and he did not even ask her why she wasn’t more careful.

Rather, his only concern was that she should not be upset or frightened. He said to her, “Don’t worry. There’s not need to get upset. It’s all right.”

Sources: Hosair Kaas Mailibecho, p.185; Rabbi Zelig Pliskin’s Gateway to Happiness

Quoting: Use Auto-Suggestion for Approval

Repeat to yourself slowly and calmly again and again, even hundreds of times, “I do not need the approval of others,” or, “What others think of me does not make a difference.”

Contemplate these thoughts until you start to internalize them. Repetition will help you integrate them. Realize that you may have repeated many thousands of times the need for approval of others. Counteracting these takes many repetitions.

-from Rabbi Zelig Pliskin’s “Gateway to Happiness,” p. 289

ME: Especially with the contentiousness going on in social media at the moment (well, really at all times), this is an important message. Celebrities and other pundits don’t have control of your life, thus their opinions about those who disagree with their pronouncements mean less than nothing.

Quoting: Beware the Fruits of Impulsivity

Be careful not to panic into taking action or saying something, until you carefully think it over in your mind. The fruit of acting impulsively is regret. When you act impulsively, you might make irreparable mistakes.

It is especially important not to make major life changes when you are guided by emotions. If you are emotionally excited (either in the positive or negative), wait until you calm down before taking action.

Sources: Shaarey Kedushah 1:6; Rabbi Zelig Pliskin’s Gateway to Happiness, p.261

Quoting: Patience Enhancing Scripts

What are some of the scripts that create patience?

“Things are going as fast as they are. I will do what I can to speed things up and I will accept the reality with serenity.”

“Each second of life is precious. And I won’t waste it by causing myself needless distress.”

“One never knows where it is best for one to be at any given moment. I will try to make the wisest choices. But I will realize that where I am could be the best thing for me.”

“I choose my emotional state and I am committed to living my life experiencing positive, resourceful states.”

“Opportunities for personal growth can be found wherever one is and in any given situation. Right now I will look at the present as a gift and an opportunity.”

-from Rabbi Zelig Pliskin’s book “Patience.”

Quoting: Learn to Let Go

For those who have mastered serenity, fifteen seconds ago is ancient history. They realize that once something is over, it is over regardless of whether it has been over for many years or for a relatively short time. It is understandable that it can take different people varying amounts of time until they are able to let things go. But the goal should be to let go of what is over and done with. In truth it is gone whether or not you let it. It is just a question of the degree of emotional mastery that you will have. Regardless of where you are at this moment, you can always improve on your ability to let things go as soon as they are gone.

-from Rabbi Zelig Pliskin’s book, “Serenity,” p.51

Quoting: Stages in Willingness to Forgive

There are three levels of willingness to forgive others:

(1) Some people forgive anyone who wronged them if that person comes over and asks forgiveness.

(2) Others go out of their way to meet those who wronged them to make it easier for them to ask for forgiveness.

(3) People on the highest level explicitly state each night before they go to sleep that they forgive anyone who insulted them, even if those people will not ask for forgiveness on their own.

Sources: Eikev Anavah, p.58; Rabbi Zelig Pliskin’s “Gateway to Happiness,” p.307

Quoting: Shrink Problems Down to Size

The best way to gain a proper perspective about life is to visit a cemetery.

You might have many problems, but that is part and parcel of being alive. Compared to those buried in the cemetery, just how serious are your difficulties?

Learn to have a sense of proportion to events. If you fail to do so, you might react with equal levels of distress to someone’s spilling soup on your clothes as you would to news of the outbreak of global nuclear warfare.

Today, when something bothers you, ask yourself: “On a scale of one to 100 (with 100 applying to nuclear war), what number would I give this situation?”

You’ll find with this perspective that many potential mountains will easily shrink to molecules.

Rabbi Nachum of Huradna used to say, “If I had already died and the Almighty told me I could come back to life again, imagine how happy I would be. Now that I am alive, I should feel that same joy!”

Sources: see Chayai Hamussar, vol.2, p. 176, 200; Rabbi Zelig Pliskin’s Gateway to Happiness, p.65