Tag Archives: humor

Battle of the Pots

pots

PHOTO PROMPT © Jen Pendergast

“You are both fools,” sneered Potted Plant. “I’m the one she checks on daily to see if I have enough water. Look how my glorious green leaves adorn the kitchen.”

“Oh, shut up,” groused Electric Pot.

“You tell her,” said Other Pot.

“Whatever,” said EP.

“You think your coffee is better?” complained OP.

“Coffee? That horrible smelling stuff? It makes me wilt.”

“Quiet,” hissed EP. “She’s coming.”

“Who gets the water this morning?” whispered OP.

Marcia stumbled into the kitchen that fateful Monday morning after a long weekend of partying. “God, I’d kill for a cup of coffee right now.”

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Time Lord Pranks

telephone box

PHOTO PROMPT © Sandra Crook

The Time Lord approached the disguised TARDIS from around the corner and stopped suddenly. He was accustomed to the inexplicable, but this sight rendered his mouth agape.

“I clearly recall you being in pristine condition when I left here to pursue that elusive rogue.”

He looked about, but a crimson telephone box containing multiple trays of flora punctuated by a pigeon cooing on the top layer hadn’t yet attracted attention. This was somewhat peculiar for London.

“Very well, then,” he said reaching into his inner jacket pocket. “One sonic screwdriver to the rescue. Then we’ll deal with this pesky Doctor.”

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The Prattsville Spectral Tavern and Restaurant

prattsville

PHOTO PROMPT © Dale Rogerson

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Ed held the polished wooden sign declaring “Homestead Bed and Breakfast” in both hands. He looked dubiously back and forth between the derelict building in the middle of nowhere and his wife.

Lorraine’s grin radiated absurd confidence. “Put the sign up next to the others. Our dear haunt will be incarcerated with the rest. You’ve seen Ghostbusters.”

“They had a laser containment.”

“Just stick it to the wall.”

The sign magically adhered to the rotting wood and because he was near the door, Ed could hear the other spirits welcoming their new resident. The party got started all over again.

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We’re Not As Alone As You Think

resized rooftop garden

PHOTO PROMPT © Lisa Fox

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She was alone in the deserted park two blocks from home when she heard his breathing. It was too late to run. Rough hands grabbed her from behind. Instead of screaming, she whirled around in his grip and exposed her vampire’s fangs.

“What? You too?” Nigel retracted his fangs and stood back looking disappointed.

“Oh darn.” The voice came from their right and a slender, dark-haired vamp in goth black appeared.

One by one, they emerged looking rather sheepish.

Desiree, also known as “shortcut girl,” said, “If a real person comes along, I’ve got dibs.” Naturally they all started arguing.

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The Tree Where The Elves Live

tree

PHOTO PROMPT © Fleur Lind

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“It’s just a fake door, Jillian. Elves don’t really live in the tree.” Ten-year-old Sam strode towards the trunk.

“Don’t,” the eight-year-old girl cried. “If they get mad, they’ll cast a spell on us.” She ran to her brother and grabbed his arm.

He shook her off. “Watch this.” Sam gripped the knob and pulled away the little door exposing only bark. “See?”

“You’re no fun,” Jill pouted.

“Let’s go get an ice cream,” Sam offered.

After the kids marched off, the knothole popped open. Two elves poked their heads out of the window. Pip asked, “Are they gone yet?”

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The Armies of Ishtar vs. The Jesus Freaks

bunny and eggs

Image found at Mindlovemisery Menagerie’s website. No image attribution listed.

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It was early morning on Easter Sunday in the field behind a local Lutheran church nestled at the edge of the suburbs. Young children, both those who regularly attended, and their friends who just thought it would be so much fun, were scurrying around the trees and bushes looking for colorful eggs with which to fill their baskets. Some were of the poultry type while others were chocolate and filled with yummy caramel.

All seemed well. The air still held a crisp chill but excitement and sweaters kept the cherubs warm. Their parents and grandparents watched from a distance, smiling at this idyllic scene, and anticipating the most Holy Day when they would worship their risen Lord.

Then, from the opposite end of the field, they came, the Armies of Ishtar. Legend had it that over all the Earth, they attacked one church on Easter morning, disgracing the Christian tradition of the Easter Bunny with their much older fertility traditions.

Dressed in hideous, giant bunny costumes, fur burned and unkempt, ears bent, cute bunny teeth replaced with six-inch fangs, and red, bloodshot eyes scanning the scene, they rushed forward. Their cries were ghastly, terrifying the children. But the bunnies were far too fast for the kids to be able to escape.

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Powered By I’m Not A Robot

No announcements or commentary today. 2020 has been a rough year for everyone and I thought maybe we should all approach the end of the year with a bit of humor.

Since the name of this blog is “Powered by Robots” but I don’t often write about robots these days. I figured this short video would be fun. Enjoy (If you can’t see the video, click Continue reading).

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The Burning Woman

pelosi

“It’s like a manhood thing with him — as if manhood can be associated with him,” House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi said in a private meeting with House Democrats. | Andrew Harnik/AP Photo

Okay, last one for today. The images are pretty self-explanatory, but I’ll explain anyway. The one at the very top was taken of Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer leaving the White House after a recent meeting with President Donald Trump. According to various sources including The New York Times, Pelosi pretty much “owned” Trump in that get together, and you can see in the photo above, she looks well pleased with herself. Sort of a cat vs. canary moment, and she gets to be the cat.

So someone used their vast Photoshop skills and created the following, which was supposedly projected on the side of the Federal Building in San Francisco. I’m sure a lot of people loved it.

arson pelosi

Image projected on the side of the Federal Building in San Francisco – Image attributed to @laureldavilacpa on twitter according to the Times article.

However, I immediately thought of the “evil girl burning house” meme and decided to “marry” them. I think it turned out well for a “quickie” job, it’s really funny, and I’ve already shared it on Facebook and twitter.

evil girl

My version of a Nancy Pelosi meme

This Milk Will Self Destruct In Ten Seconds

milk

© Yinglan Z. 2018

He was a tall man, stark white hair, about forty-five years old. He parked the Buick in front of the hotel, but he wouldn’t be staying long.

Walking up to the front desk, he asked the petite brunette, “Do you have a key for Peter Aurness?”

She smiled. “Just one moment, Sir.” The young woman retrieved a key from a box behind her. “Room 101, around the corner and down the hall.”

“Thanks.” He knew her eyes were following him as he walked away. He had a quiet charisma some women found appealing.

Slipping the key in the lock, he opened the door and flipped on the light. He sat at the table, the only pieces of furniture in the room. There was a small carton of milk and an envelope waiting for him. He adjusted the antenna, heard a click, and then the whirring sound of a cassette tape.

“Good morning, Mr. Phelps.”

Jim Phelps opened the envelope and began to follow along as the control voice outlined the next impossible mission.

I wrote this for the 185th FFfAW Challenge hosted by Priceless Joy. The idea is to use the image above as the prompt for crafting a piece of flash fiction between 100 and 175 words long. My word count is 172.

An antenna coming out of a milk carton and an envelope? No help from the language. All I could read were the ISO numbers and even Googling them wasn’t illuminating.

Peter Graves

Publicity photo of Peter Graves – 1967

I’ve written a Mission: Impossible themed story before, and it was the only thing I could think of that fit the photo. Between 1967 and 1973, the late actor Peter Graves played Jim Phelps, the leader of the Impossible Missions Force (IMF), a loose collection of experts who, when presented with an “impossible” task, pooled their resources and came up with a daring solution that was only revealed as the episode unfolded.

Graves’ real name was Peter Duesler Aurness, so I thought I’d throw that into my tale.

To read other stories based on the prompt, visit InLinkz.com.

I’m adding a photo of Graves as he looked in 1967 just for giggles.

Things That Make Me Laugh

I know as a conservative, religious person, I’m supposed to have a totally “clean” sense of humor, but I wasn’t always the “Boy Scout” who is now blogging here. I’ve been considering a number of images I’ve collected over the past few days, some of which I’ve peppered all over Facebook, twitter, and here, and I thought I’d share them in one place, with commentary, of course.

Oh, if you’re easily offended, you might want to skip this one.

So, without further ado:

ofputin

Image found on twitter

Not too many people like Donald Trump, but you’ll have to have read Margaret Atwood’s novel A Handmaid’s Tale or seen the Hulu television adaptation to know why this is funny. I’ve read and reviewed the book, but will probably never watch the TV show.

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